FROM WHERE I SIT RESOLVE TO MOVE FORWARD 12/30/13 P.D. Spilseth
New Year resolutions are often broken by the second day of the new year. Stephen Covey, author of SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE, has compiled 10 basic things we must give up to MOVE FORWARD. Here’s the list I hope to follow in 2014. Maybe it’ll work for some of you too.
#1 Letting the opinions of others control your life.
It’s what you think about yourself that truly counts. I have to do things that are best for me and my life, not what’s best for others. We women often sacrifice what we want to eat or do or change our opinions to not displease others. Phooey! It’s time for each of us to think for ourselves. I want to take time this week to think about what’s important in my life and try to follow those ideas. For several years I’ve told myself that I want to paint, play the piano, bike, read books that will stretch my brain. This January is the time to start on that list.
#2 The shame of past failures.
The past is behind us; the future is whatever we want it to be. It’s sometimes difficult to believe those words, but what matters is what we do right now. A friend never tried skiing because she was afraid of falling; she didn’t open a business for fear of failure. If we never try something new we’ll never experience the thrill of flying down a ski hill, the satisfaction of writing a column, tasting an exotic food...
#3 Being indecisive about what you want.
Wishy-washing thinking only stimes people. Covey says, figure out what you want, then pursue it passionately. It’s so easy to question whether I really want to visit the Art Institute or the Russian Art Museum. Should be go to Florida or to Mexico or California or Montreal? Always questionning; I never get to anything! I need to prioritize.
#4 Procrastingating on the goals that matter to you.
Covey says that we have two primary choices: accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them. So I never got to Greece or Vermont or back to Provance; I never wrote the book I’d planned to write ten years ago, when I felt passionate about the idea. The second best time is to do it now.
#5 Choosing to do nothing.
You and I can’t choose how or when we’re going to die, but we can decide how we’re going to live. Every day is a new chance to choose. Remember Abraham Lincoln said that every morning when he got up, he had a choice: to be happy or not. Each of us has choices, every single day. We can stay in bed and pout or get up, smile and get moving.
#6 Your need to be right.
Aim for success, but never give up the right to be wrong. If we don’t try new things, and possibably fail, we’ll lose the ability to learn new things and move forward with our lives. It’s worth being wrong or bad at something if we discover new ideas and talents in our lives. At our neighbor’s monthly Pasta Feed, I tend to be somewhat conservative in my political opinions, but I listen to the flaming liberals and Tea Party guests. I evaluate and learn, sometimes deciding that my ideas weren’t the best. I can be wrong; I can change. That’s an individual’s perogrative.
#7 Running from problems that should be fixed.
Covey writes, “Stop running!” Face the issues and fix the problems. He wants each of us to communicate (I think he must mean face-to-face, not by texting or e-mails), appreciate, forgive and LOVE the poeple in your life who deserve it. Not everyone deserves our appreciation, but it doesn’t cost a thing to tell someone you enjoy being with them. Compliments are so appreciated by the receiver; the giver will feel good too.
#8 Making excuses rather than decisions
Most failures are the outcome of people who make excuses instead of decisions.
In this frigid weather of this winter, I excuse myself from taking walks with Buddy, my Beagle who’s always ready to run, no matter the weather. Instead, I can bundle up in warm caps, scarves, boots and my down coat and brave the elements. Both Buddy and I would be trimmer, sleep better and good! If not a walk in the woods, I could walk on the treadmill. I won’t make excuses; I’ll just do it!
#9 Overlooking the positive points in your life.
What we see often depends entirely on what we’re looking for. If we’re not thankful for the good things in life right now, it’s difficult to be happy. Look up at the full moon and stars shining brightly on cold winter evenings. Enjoy the sun brightening our gray, winter days, snow draped over the falling boughs of pine trees, walking with a friend as snow gently falls; reading by the fireplace; slipping into fresh sheets and bundling in down blankets and quilts... So many little things can make me smile.
#10 Not appreciating the present moment.
The greatest part of life is made up of tiny things. Too often we want something BIG to happen. We have awesome goals and expectations, but our greatest enjoyment can be on our way to achieving that goal. I found that I can lose track of time when I see the watercolors swirl and bleed into each other. When I sit at the computer to compose a column, it feels great when my fingers start typing all my themselves. Soon an idea is born into a column. It feels good.
Motivalional speaker Dale Carnegie wrote, ‘WE ALL HAVE POSSIBILITIES WE DON’T KNOW ABOUT. WE CAN DO THE THING WE DON’T EVEN DREAM WE CAN DO.”
2014 is here. It’ll be just what I want it to be. I just have to believe! 1005 words
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